Music festivals can be really great. Or terrible, if you take the wrong drugs. There’s a new craze sweeping college campuses and quirky towns alike, however: the micro festival.
The microfestival – or MF, depending on if your sources like abbreviations or not – is a trend that takes the popular music festival tradition and shrinks it down.
That much should be obvious from the name, but you would be surprised on how many MicroMachines enthusiasts show up to these things. MicroManiacs, as they identify, aren’t the best at partying.
Nevertheless, the squished music fest idea is very popular on college campuses, since it gives everyone the outdoor concert experience with less camping and “controlled” substances.
LSU has found some success with the Groovin’ event, though there’s typically three acts instead of the four or five that are typical for a microfestival.
“We would love to have more than three acts,” explains LSU’s Freshmen Events Coordinator Max Payne explains. “But students react better to a name they know. Also, we didn’t have a budget when we started this thing. What do you think we have now?”
Payne did expound on his idea to have local acts pay the university to use the platform, which has not worked well so far.
“We did get the Chee-Weez to pay us in obscure snacks, so that’s something,” offers Payne.
While most microfestivals are really just block parties in a field, there are some that take the trend and turn it on its pretentious hipster head.
In nearby unincorporated territory Gonzales, entrepreneur Boudreaux Shepard has started a microfest called Tickboree, a microfestival “named after what you’ll be digging out of your skin if you attend.” That’s a selling point, according to Shepard.
Shepard wanted to offer a more authentic alternative to Groovin’, and event he has shunned after it kicked him out three years running. This is why his event is scheduled on the same day as LSU’s.
“Music festivals got soft after Lollapalooza,” Shepard claims. “It used to be about rolling around in the mud, while rolling… that’s what it’s called when you’re on ecstacy.”
Shepard claims festivals became too family friendly. He sees microfestivals as an opportunity to get back to the basics – music and semi-nudity.
The Tickboree will be held on the bank of New River, right across from the St. Theresa Catholic School campus. The school will be providing shameful looks all weekend long.
The event itself looks to be unique in that it places less emphasis on the music and more on the events. “Festivals always got cool stuff for people to do,” explains Shepard’s assistant Sam Windu. “We’ve got stuff. Who said we didn’t have stuff?”
There will be graffiti fingerpainting under the nearby bridge, bobbing for shopping carts in the river, and canoeing.
“This isn’t a big time operation,” Windu admits. “It’s DIY and indie. Kids love shit like that.” The statement checks out, with many students buying tickets for Tickboree and shunning Groovin’.
“It’s like, punk rock,” says a student named Brodie, who wished to remain anonymous. “I heard they’re gonna let you throw rocks at the bands. That’s what punk rock is, right?”
When asked about the rogue event, LSU President F. King Alexander said he was too busy figuring out where his next job would be coming from.
“Ultimately, it’s about providing a service for students,” Payne says. “And if they want to shun this service, then we need to learn why and strive to improve that service.”
When informed about his event’s popularity, Shepard shrugged. “I’m not surprised, MF.”
Editor’s Note: This story is a work of satire and all quotes are made up by the author.