Dig Baton Rouge

Downtown stinks! Latest theories on the mystery stench

The source of the rank odor that has been lingering around downtown Baton Rouge this week remains a mystery. According to The Advocate, recent tests by field technicians from the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality turned up nothing.

Described as “awful, foul, and sulfurous” by several reports, the mysterious stench is apparently much worse than the aromas regularly produced by nearby industrial operations.

So what gives? If local residents smelt it, obviously something must have dealt it. Here’s a list of likely culprits for your consideration:

  • The smell is a sign of impending attack by mole-men, CHUDs, or some yet-unknown race of covetous subterranean beings.
  • Cousin Eddie has been at it again, dumping sewage from the ol’ tenement on wheels into local storm drains. “Merry Christmas! Shitter’s full!”
  • Nick Saban was in town awhile back when LSU took on Bama. Was he downtown for any of that stop? It could explain a lot.
  • It’s said that Bigfoot emits a musky, foul odor. No one has spotted Sasquatch downtown per se, but he’s known as a pretty good hider.
  • Must have been the dog…

Got any stink-related conspiracy theories of your own? Let us know in the comments.

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june

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