Dig Baton Rouge

Et tu, Taco Bell?

By Evan Rabalais

I’ve been a loyal Taco Bell customer ever since I went during lunch one day during Driving School. My friend Brandon and I went and I got the queso crunchwrap, and I was hooked. My love for Taco Bell was solidified on that day and only grew over time. My senior year of high school, my friends and I would go to the Taco Bell by our school every Wednesday for Taco Wednesday (We hated alliteration). My love for Taco Bell was so strong that my best friend and I figured out that over the next few years we spent a combined $5,000 at this establishment. That’s a used Camry’s worth of soft tacos. I guess I’m trying to say that I’m a fan. So that brings me to today. I feel betrayed, abandoned by an eatery that I had once considered a close friend. What happened to our relationship? Where did it go wrong?

Taco Bell recently brought back the quesarito, a horrible Frankenstein’s monster made of part quesadilla part burrito, and it’s delicious. With the quesarito also hailed the return of lava sauce, one of TB’s best spicy condiments. So what could they do to really hype these things returning? A free PS4! That seems like a great idea! The idea is simple, go to any participating location and order any Big Box combo, and use the code on the box to enter for a chance to win the PS4. It’s a simple and smooth process, or at least it should be.

Three times. That’s the number of times I’ve ordered a volcano quesarito big box and NOT gotten a box with it to enter the promotion with. Once in the drive thru where I was told they simply don’t hand them out to drive thru customers, and twice inside the restaurant where they claimed they were out of the boxes despite me being able to SEE THEM behind the counter. What the hell, Taco Bell? What did I do to you? I mean, besides give you enough business to put a kid through community college. Finally, when I went earlier today with my roommate I was able to get a box with a code, but then you treated my roommate like the scum you treated me as. He ordered the regular quesarito box and the man at the counter said they only give the PS4 codes out for the volcano quesarito boxes. Then, when he tried to point out that the sign above his head said “ANY BIG BOX” another employee called him a liar!

Taco Bell, if I wanted to be treated like garbage I would go to Burger King. This hurts. I don’t like getting stabbed in the back, and I certainly don’t enjoy not having a fair chance at winning a gold PS4. Why do you think I kept ordering the quesarito? Because it’s the best thing on the menu? Guess what, guys, it isn’t. That title belongs to the beefy mini quesadilla. They’re basically a grilled soft taco with no lettuce and quesadilla sauce for $1. Can’t beat that and I doubt you ever will. I only ordered your dumb box for a shot at that PS4 and you’ve denied me that shot THREE TIMES IN A ROW. So until this situation gets reconciled, I think I’m done with you, Taco Bell. So just like I told all of my ex-girlfriends when we broke up, I’m done eating your box… At least until it’s 2am and there’s no other options.

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