Dig Baton Rouge

Potent Quotables: Edwin Edwards Edition

By Nick Bejeaux

Love him or hate him, Edwin Edwards is famous on both sides for his hilarious, and often shocking, anecdotes. The former governor’s wit has not diminished with age – he’s 86, for the record – and after his announcement that he’s running for Congress that biting tongue of his is back in the spotlight. To be perfectly clear, DIG magazine does not make ANY political endorsements of any kind – everyone is fair game for jokes, ridicule and satirization.

We simply think Edwards is f**cking hilarious, and we want to share our favorite quotes with you, our dearest readers.

“The only thing we have in common is that we’re both wizards under the sheets.”

 

(This was Edwards in 1991 when asked about his political ties to David Duke, his Republican opponent who also moonlights as a Grand Wizard for the Klu Klux Klan.)

 

“Well Marion, if she dies…she dies.”

 

(This is what Edwards said to reassure his brother Marion, who tried to warn the 86-year old that having sex with his much-younger wife could be dangerous.)

 

“You sleep with them!”

 

(This is a quote about the usefulness of Republicans from a 2012 press conference Edwards gave with his wife Trina, a registered member of the GOP.)

 

“The only way I can lose this election is if I’m caught in bed with a dead woman or a live boy.”

 

(Edwin’s thoughts on his 1983 campaign. He won!)

 

“I give blood for them to make Viagra.”

 

(This gem passed Edwards’ lips in 2011, just in case anyone doubted his ability to father a child.)

 

“I did not do anything wrong as a governor – even if you accept the verdict as it is, it doesn’t indicate that.”

 

(This is Edward’s in 2002 regarding the charges of racketeering that landed him in federal prison in 2001. You have to admire the optimism, if nothing else. )

 

“Dave Treen is so slow it takes him and hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.”

 

(This is one of Edwards’ most recognized and regurgitated quotes. He said this during his 1983 gubernatorial campaign against incumbent republican David Treen.)

 

“Pierre and Boudreaux ran into one another and Pierre say, “Eh Boudreaux long time no see.” Boudreaux replies, ‘Yea man. You kno’ I’m married now.’ Pierre says, ‘Oh no! Who you marry?’ Boudreaux says, ‘Marie.’ Pierre replies, ‘Marie?’ Boudreaux says, ‘You know Marie from Mamou?’ Pierre says, ‘Ooooohhhhh.’ Boudreaux says, ‘What you mean ooooohhhhh.’ Pierre replies, ‘Well that thar Marie she dun screwed every man in Mamou.’ Boudreaux replies, ‘Not too worry cha’ Mamou’s a small town.’”

 

(Being an old Catholic Cajun, Edwards loves dirty jokes. He told this one at a Banquet in Baton Rouge in the 90s.)

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