By Holly A. Phillips
“We started kissing, clothes were coming off, and I had to tell him that no, we were not going to have sex.”
“You should come over.”
It was a text from a guy I’d been drooling over for nearly two months.
We’d hung out for the first time the night before, where I’d had too much to drink, and hoped I hadn’t ruined things.
He suggested I come over to watch Netflix with him, and I coolly agreed. On my end however, I was scrambling around my apartment trying to find the perfect casual-yet-sexy ensemble.
About an hour later, I made it to his place, and was pleasantly surprised to see him looking very sexy in a pair of sweat-shorts and a t-shirt.
“Why do you have that?” he asked, pointing to the two giant bottles of Powerade in my hands.
“Normally, I’d bring wine in this situation,” I explained. “But given my hangover…”
He understood my pain, and I nearly melted when he took the bottles, using the word “icebox.”
He smoothly invited me upstairs to his room, because of course that’s where the Netflix was, right?
We climbed into his bed, and I started to get a little nervous about where things were heading.
This guy is successful in his career, polite, attractive, funny, and yet the only place I can seem to get him is in the bed.
He laid down, stretching his arm out so I could curl up in that perfect little nook men seem to have, near their shoulder.
We really did watch a movie, talking a little, until he managed to discover how ticklish I am. He really got a kick out of watching me squirm, but inside I knew, shit was about to go down.
We started kissing, clothes were coming off, and I had to tell him that no, we were not going to have sex.
I don’t want to be a tease, but I also know that having sex with a guy the second time I hang out with him is a great way to stay single.
And yes, I know a guy can dump a woman on the second date just as easily as he could on the 10th date.
These days, it’s more about how I feel about the guy and our potential naked romp.
In this case, I was really into this guy. We had a lot in common, both Cancers and INTJs, into fitness, and I felt like we made a good match.
Back in the bed, we fooled around (no sex) and fell asleep. The next morning, I kissed him goodbye, thinking we’d hangout again.
But instead, he started fading me out, rarely replying to my text messages.
Although we’d hung out a whopping two times, I was hurt. I’d gotten excited over someone new, and he wasn’t into me.
I’m bold, and I can’t rest until I get answers. So I asked him what I did to make him run. His reply?
“You didn’t do anything, I’m just going through a lot of work BS right now.”
Oh right, because that’s a perfect excuse. Does work crap mean you can’t have a relationship?
But, I took that as my cue to bounce on out. From the looks of things, he just wanted to have sex. I’m not against it, but that’s been my scenario for far too long and I’m looking for something more — no bullshit.
Read more about how to work and date on Holly’s blog, TheBitterLemon.com.
How to Let Go of a Potential Partner:
1. Get Real: It’s easy to think of a crush as perfect, but open your eyes and notice the red flags.
2. Check Yourself: Don’t rush into things just because the person is physically attractive.
3. Start Looking: If your crush isn’t so great, start looking for a new one. The city is full of eligible partners, you’ve just got to find them!