By Holly A. Phillips — @OrangeJulius7
Last year, I decided to embark on a sexual adventure when I got involved with a f*ck buddy. I use the term “involved” loosely, as it was purely a sex thing (and I’m not just saying that).Together, we agreed that it was a relationship only meant to — as Tove Lo sings — use our bodies for “fun.”
I’ll admit that I was a little nervous going into things, because 1. He had an incredible body. Abs for days. And 2. I don’t consider myself extremely experienced when it comes to sex. I’ve had sex with a good number of partners, and I feel confident in my body. However, I wouldn’t consider myself experimental in the bedroom.
But after hooking up a few times, my f*ck buddy and I got to talking about things we wanted to try with each other. He gave me a decent little list, which included — for lack of a better term — “sex” with my breasts, and requesting I swallow post-oral sex.
These were two things he said he’d never done or experienced.
All of the sudden, I felt like a huge whore. I had done both of those things; many, many times. I’ve done it so much, I thought it was weird that he hadn’t experienced it.
“So, wait,” I started. “If no one’s ever swallowed… Then, what exactly do they do?”
He explained what they did, which is what I did when I was in high school. I was flabbergasted that this divorced, fine-ass man had gone his entire life without said pleasure.
Now, I’m not a dude, so I don’t know exactly what the hoopla is all about. But if I had to guess, it’d be like a guy cooking me a gourmet meal, and then saying I can’t actually eat it.
Ladies, when there’s a job to be done, you finish it.
Now that I sound even more like a slut, I’ll explain a few things.
Until recently, I assumed every sexual act was linear. First you kissed, then you were touching, then you did… you get the picture. My theory led me to believe that if someone had sexual intercourse, then they’d also had oral sex, or whatever. But of course, that’s not true. Some people have sex early on; some people aren’t into oral sex. (I hope I never meet any of these people.)
Per usual, every situation when it comes to dating is different.
I think what bothered me most about my f*ck buddy and his lack of sexual adventures, was more about the fact that he’d been with so many women who weren’t willing to try something new.
Now, I’m not suggesting you do anything you’re not comfortable with. But if a guy has a fantasy about you in lingerie, what’s the harm in giving him a little flirt in some lace undies?
Recently, a guy I’ve had a crush on for years admitted to me that perhaps he would be a little nervous to sleep with me.
“You’re just so confident in that area,” he said.
I wouldn’t consider myself confident, but I will say that I like having sex, and when it comes to the bedroom — or other areas of life — you’ve really just got to fake it ‘til you make it.
Sure, I get nervous at times. But then, I just suck it up… and swallow it.
Read more about sexual adventures on Holly’s blog, TheBitterLemon.com.