A month ago, I downloaded a new dating app called “Coffee Meets Bagel.”
I’ll admit I downloaded it on a rather lonely night, as I was watching Nightline. The app’s founders were on the show, after they’d turned down $30 million from an episode of Shark Tank — the largest bid in Shark Tank history.
The founders, three sisters, claimed their app was the “anti-Tinder,” as it is geared toward women users. In order to cater to women, the app uses information from your Facebook profile and presents potential matches (called “Bagels”) based on mutual friends, as well as shared hobbies and interests, instead of being focused on physical aspects.
“Meh, why not?” I thought. I’ve tried Tinder (gave it a whopping five minutes before getting creeped out), and Glimpse (a dating app that feeds through Instagram).
And I’ve also tried Match.com (for which I’m somehow still getting “wink” alerts two years later), and OkCupid.
I’ve met up with guys from Match.com and OkCupid, but haven’t had much luck from the apps.
With Coffee Meets Bagel, you’re presented one Bagel a day at noon. You get to see four pictures of their choosing, and a small snippet of their profile — likes, dislikes, where they work, and what they look for in a date.
You can either “Like” or “Pass” on the Bagel. If you both like each other, then it’s a “Connection,” and a chat feature becomes available (very much like Tinder).
Over the summer, the sisters presented a TEDx Talk, revealing data about online dating. They found many stereotypes we know in dating are true: men date younger women, and women like men who make more money. But what they also found was that the people who ended up in relationships had profiles that were longer in content. These same people also shared messages in the chat feature that were twice as long in length. In other words, they put themselves out there.
The app founders looked into the other half of the equation: why were the singletons being so quiet? Because they were afraid. Putting in effort could mean a hurtful rejection. Whoa. I am definitely feeling that.
The cool thing about Coffee Meets Bagel is that once a week, you get a report that gives you a little tip to get more profile likes. I’ll admit I’ve got the, “Your Bagels are requesting more information” tip at least twice. Guess this writer better get to writing!
The only thing that’s impossible to control on dating apps or websites, is that you’re only going to meet someone else who’s on the app. What if my dream guy doesn’t watch Nightline or Shark Tank, and doesn’t even know about Coffee Meets Bagel?
This is when us control freaks have to put all the cards in fate, and somehow just “know” that whoever is meant to be with us will make his/her way to us.
Sounds a little crazy, amiright?
But, it all boils down to one thing: we all just want to be accepted and loved.
Since joining Coffee Meets Bagel, I’ve made several “Connections,” but I have only messaged with a few guys, and haven’t met up with any. I will admit, it’s nerve-wracking to meet someone new in-person. But, I’m still willing to go for it. So, I suppose it’s time to update the ole profile. I wonder how the whole “relationship columnist” thing will go over with the Bagels.
Read more about online dating on Holly’s blog, TheBitterLemon.com.