By Holly A. Phillips — @OrangeJulius7
Is it just me, or has it been incredibly difficult to get into the holiday spirit this year? I feel really old when I say, “It’s crept up on me this year,” yet I keep saying it.
I blame my Scrooge-like spirit partly on the weather, given that it’s going to be in the 70s on Christmas Day; how am I supposed to feel all wintry when I haven’t even had a chance to break out the boots?
I blame the other half of my Grinch-ish attitude on the fact that my car was broken into and my iPad was stolen (not to mention the $350 it cost to replace the shattered window).
It got me thinking about my favorite movie (all year), “Home Alone,” when Harry and Marv are scouting out the houses they want to rob before Christmas. Marv is in the McCallister home, dressed as a police officer, talking to Mr. McCallister.
“It’s Christmas time,” he says. “There’s always a lot of burglaries around the holidays.”
Is that why someone busted into my car? In hopes of giving their child an iPad for Christmas? Maybe.
In “Home Alone,” it’s essentially the Wet Bandits and their taunting that send Kevin back into the arms of his family members, with an understanding of what Christmas is all about.
When I saw my shattered window, I was already on the phone with my pseudo-boyfriend. We’re in that stage where it’s pretty obvious we like each other, I’d be pissed if he went out with someone else, but we haven’t had any serious talks about the future of our relationship.
And I’m fine with this, for now, anyway (he is really, really handsome).
But as any good man would do, he did what he could to help me in my time of distress, and has been there to listen to me whine when I have fits of rage over the incident, even weeks later (I miss my iPad, y’all!).
While our bond has taken years to form, it’s safe to say that our sometimes-gloomy pasts have deepened our connection. We’ve both had rocky relationships that have shown us exactly the type of person we’re looking to be with, whether that’s each other or not is to-be-determined.
Over Thanksgiving, my best friend asked me if I ever get on Facebook and look at my exes’ profiles to see just how much better we’re doing than them. I hadn’t, until she asked, and then I did. I’ll guiltily admit it was quite nice to see my exes looking plump and loser-like.
But neither of those reasons are why the relationships of my past have failed. When I really think about it, it comes down to how much a person is willing to give.
And I don’t mean material things, I’m referring to the general spirit of giving and someone’s ability to compromise. Outside of general compatibility, if a person is selfish, a relationship isn’t going to work, period.
Some of the most giving people I know are the ones who don’t have much. But they’ll give their ear to listen, their time to talk, a sip of their wine, or a couch to sleep on.
And that’s what I’m most thankful for this holiday season. I’ve got people around me who care enough to give, even if it’s something small. My hope is that you feel the same way this holiday season, and all year ‘round.
Read more about giving and relationship on Holly’s blog, TheBitterLemon.com.