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The Bitter Lemon: Ladies, got game?

Last week, Forbes magazine published an Instagram post revealing the top five downloaded podcasts, which included one called “The Art of Charm.”

I checked it out and noticed the description was geared toward men and how they could improve their lives in all areas, including work, friends, family and dating, all by the tips in the podcast.

Dating? Count me in.

I started binging on old episodes right away.

One episode was dedicated to learning how to “win” at speed dating. The two hosts had been on several speed dating adventures and were sharing their tips.

One of their pieces of advice was to steer the conversation in your favor – speaking to the men.

“If a woman just asks you ‘What do you do for a living,’ it’s because she’s got no girl game,” one host said.

Girl game?

And here I thought asking someone about their career made for interesting conversation.

The more they talked about it, they explained that often women don’t have game because they don’t have to; women are used to being approached instead of having to do the work themselves.

It sounded a little annoying at first, but then I got to thinking about it, and they were right.

I went on a date a few months ago, and I was so nervous, I found myself unable to rely on my usual crutch of self-confidence.

I was finding it hard to maintain eye contact and hold up conversation, which was very unlike me. Do I lack girl game?

During the date, I kept catching myself looking away or picking up nervous habits, but I couldn’t stop myself.

I hate to admit it, but I kind of think I need help with my dating game.

When we refer to men who have game, it means they’re not only good in the dating world; they’re super smooth. These men have loads of confidence; they know what they want, and they go after it.

For women, having said “game” might be a little bit of new territory; we’re still learning how to steer the dating ship and be treated properly in a relationship, simultaneously.

I have always wondered if a girl comes across as aggressive in the beginning, will the man still takes the lead later, or will it always be up to the woman?

But the truth of the matter is, you can only be good at dating – actually going on dates – if you practice.

And, you lose practice one of two ways: 1. Spending your Saturday nights on the couch with Netflix, alone, or 2. Getting into a serious relationship.

Most women straight out of a relationship find it difficult to date because they’re ready just to pick up (emotionally) where they left off, even if it’s with someone new.

It sounds silly, but mastering the game means conquering everyday skills, such as holding great conversation, maintaining eye contact and keeping an open mind. Overall, just be cool, right?

At the end of the podcast, the guys suggested everyone try speed dating because it’s a good way to put yourself out there, even for just a short time.

I’ve been considering checking one out – I often seen them advertised in New Orleans – and maybe I should. It’d be a good way for me to “practice” dating and hone my girl game.

Read more about dating and girl game on Holly’s blog, TheBitterLemon.com.

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