Dig Baton Rouge

Being the other woman…in bed

By Holly A. Phillips

I’ve got a fear of threesomes.

Let me back up, and say that I hope I’m not the only woman in Baton Rouge who has a resume full of sex that’s a little mediocre.

When I’m in a relationship, I find that I really enjoy sleeping with my boyfriend, but when we breakup, I realize it wasn’t monumentally great.

I’ve got a bad habit of being with selfish lovers, and making it worse by never speaking up for myself and my needs in the bedroom.

Let me make this clear: I want record-breaking sex.

To accomplish this, I’ve been on a mission to stuff my inhibitions in a box, and toss them into the Mississippi—I’m not getting any younger, so bring on the fire.

So, you can imagine my delight when a male acquaintance offered to help me conquer this mission. Hey, it takes two to tango.

For starters, he takes the cake in the physical department. He is gorgeous, which made me nervous. I’d never had sex with a guy I considered to be quite this hot.

We agreed to partake in a string of emotionless romps for the sole purpose of having mind-blowing sex.

 

The first time he came to my apartment, he brought wine. We proceeded to get drunk, and I ended up straddling him on my couch before pulling him into my bedroom.

First-time jitters, be damned!

While it was great sex, my mission was to push the envelope. So, I went to Hearts for the first time, where I purchased flavored lubricants, creams, and lingerie.

FYI, everything at Hearts is crotch-less.

Getting What You Want…In Bed

Here are Holly’s tips for great sex:

1. Speak Up. No one is a mind reader, so don’t be afraid to say what you want.

2. Try Something New. You can’t knock it until you try it, so let loose a little and come clean with that bottom-shelf fantasy.

3. Be Yourself. Confidence is key, and frankly, it’s sexy as hell. Whether you’re in it to win it, or you’re not feeling it, be a little selfish and make yourself happy. 

When that got old, we had sex in the shower. Then we tried it in the kitchen. Then we had sex in a parking lot off Siegen Lane. We may or may not have recorded some of it.

I was on a roll and we were having fun, until he suggested a threesome.

I’m not dense, I know most guys have this fantasy—hey, two women is better than one, right?

But no matter how much I twist it, I cannot get on board with this fantasy. In my mind, it’s a guy telling me that I’m not enough.

“That’s not it at all,” he told me. “It’s just a fantasy.”

Not to be judgmental, but my fantasies involve high heels and a very sturdy wall, not other people.

It’s just a guess, but considering 90 percent of the men I’ve been with have cheated on me, I’ve got some insecurities that are keeping me from partaking in a ménage a trois.

The thought of seeing another woman on my guy—boyfriend or not—boils rage in my blood. Even though jealousy is ugly, it happens to the best of us.

I explained this to my partner in crime, and he told me his fantasy was more about people watching us have sex.

As a compromise, I agreed to look into Club Nymphos of Baton Rouge—a members-only bar where sex is allowed. I figured we could go out on a limb, have sex, people could watch, and I’d be free from having to witness a second woman in the bed.

But the fantasy kept getting more involved, as he wanted to know why I wouldn’t kiss or touch another woman (our imaginary third person). He didn’t understand that it had nothing to do with that aspect of it.

My libido, along with my mood, went south. Yes, I wanted to try new things and have sex like I’d never had it before.

But if I’m not into it, then that’s just the way it is, and even if I convinced myself to try it, it probably wouldn’t be enjoyable for the others involved.

I can’t help it if I don’t like to share, so I told my friend to go ahead and plan his threesome and let me know when it was happening. I never told him I’d actually show up.

Call me close-minded, but even sex at the end of a graveled road is intimate to me—not a third-party spectacle.

Read more about Holly’s fantasy threshold on her blog, TheBitterLemon.com.

 

 

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