By Ellie Gardner
Winner: #Sharknado 2
Possibly the greatest movie sequel since Godfather Part II, SyFy darling Sharknado returned last Wednesday night for “Sharknado 2: the Second One.” A brilliant commentary on climate change and nature’s indiscriminate immensity, Sharknado 2 was a spectacle to be seen, full of flying rubber sharks, screaming NYC pedestrians, and excellent cameo performances by Al Roker, Kelly Osbourne, Billy Ray Cyrus, and “Jared the Subway Guy.” And not only did this singular movie take T.V. by storm, but social media exploded in a fishy frenzy with hilarious live-tweeting from fans and celebs alike. #Sharknado2TheSecondOne was a top-trending hashtag on Twitter well into the wee night hours, with 215,000 jaw-some tweets recorded by mid-morning (numbers from Topsy.com).
Winner: Orlando Bloom Punches Hollywood Idiot Justin Bieber
Well, someone needed to do it. According to eyewitness reports, Orlando Bloom and Justin Beiber got into a night club brawl, which cumulated in Bloom throwing a punch Beiber’s way–ultimately scaring JB far and away from the club. The punch was followed by a cheering crowd in what was clearly a spectacular triumph of good over evil.
Loser: Obama Gets Sued
The GOP is at it again–and this time President Obama better lawyer-up. In a close, but passing vote of 225-201, a new resolution in the House gave Speaker John Boehner the thumbs up to sue Obama, arguing that his executive orders regarding Obamacare were unlawful and unconstitutional. It was a near party-line vote: not a single Democrat chose to join the sue-happy GOP, while only five Republican candidates voted against the resolution. Rumor has it that the resolution is the first step by right-wingers to impeach the president altogether–but Boehner denies such allegations. Either way, stretching executive powers to potentially unconstitutional limits is not a new phenomenon for the Commander in Chief—and this new lawsuit seems like an unnecessary step in the wrong direction, especially since legal experts doubt an actual trial will ever come to pass. Hyper-partisanship is getting really, really annoying. Please stop.