By Cody Worsham
Loser: Urban Outfitters is the Worst
Known for selling overpriced crap to hipsters and ripping off designs from boutique jewelers without giving credit, Urban Outfitters somehow found a way to out-asshole themselves with the release of a blood-stained Kent State sweatshirt. The product strongly suggested a twisted reflection on the 1970 May 4 Massacre that saw four unarmed college students shot by National Guardsman. Urban Outfitters denied any connection between disaster and design, but we don’t trust them, because they’re the worst. Oh yeah, and the sticker price for this atrocity: $129. You can’t see me right now, reader, but know I’m shaking my head as a write this.
Loser: But Kanye West is a Close Second
Kanye West did his best Joe Biden impression at a concert last week, when he yelled at a handicapped concert-goer to stand up during his show. It called to mind Biden’s “Stand Up For Chuck” gaffe, when he asked handicapped Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham to stand up at a public speaking event in 2008, but at least Biden realized his mistake and apologized. West, on the other hand, encouraged his fans to boo the wheelchair bound fan and sent his bodyguards to investigate the matter, only continuing the show upon confirmation of the wheels. West later went on an anti-media rant and defended himself as “a married Christian man with a family.” Yes, Ye, Jesus Walks, but this fan you called out in front of thousands doesn’t, which makes you, well, a loser.