Winner: Cleveland Rocks, but Comic Sans still sucks
What a summer it’s been for Cleveland. First, the Browns landed partier/social media guru/sack evader/quarterback (in that order) Johnny Manziel in the first round of the 2014 NFL Draft. And now, the King is coming home. LeBron James announced last week – with a simple Instagram post, and an SI column later – he would sign with the Cavaliers. This, despite a 2010 letter from Cavs owner Dan Gilbert – notoriously written in Comic Sans – disavowing James after he left the team for Miami. Those fences have been mended, and now James can shine the spotlight back on the city and relegate Manziel to the shadows, where backup QBs belong.
Loser: Twerking teacher suspended for 15 days without pay
Courtney Spruill has taken physical education to an entirely new – and inappropriate – level. The Jacksonville, Fla. P.E. teacher and soccer coach was suspended from her job for teaching her players how to twerk. Spruill is alleged to have brought vodka to a postseason team party – though she didn’t allow any students to drink the liquor – before giving a lesson in the art of booty shaking. There is also allegedly a video of Spruill receiving a lap dance from a player. District investigators said Spruill showed “gross exercise of poor judgment” – emphasis on the gross part.
Loser: Belgian fan who scored modeling contract gets axe for old hunting photos
Well, that didn’t take long. Axelle Despiegelaere’s modeling career with L’Oreal is as dead as the animal she posed with for a photo a year ago. The Belgian soccer fan landed the contract after World Cup cameras locked in on her blonde hair and bright smile, but lost it after just a week when a photo of Despiegelaere posing with a gun and a dead oryx emerged from the ether of the Internet. The photo also included a caption that included the phrase “ready to hunt Americans.” Uh, creepy.